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Families are wonderful things ... they provide support and encouragement ... they're around when times get tough and they can help you through some really bad situations. Heck they can even be supportive of us as we work here in adult online.

Yes I know that there are many adult webmasters out there who are afraid or unwilling to tell their families about what they do. They describe their jobs or business in vague terms that most people outside the industry would never see as pointing to selling adult products online ... and if that's the way you want to deal with the situation then that's cool.

Steve and I have always preferred to be more open with our families and we've always told them what we do. Even back when I worked in the adult industry offline I didn't hide it from anyone either but we understand that not everyone feels that members of their families can handle the truth.

So if you're not comfortable in telling people what you do then that's ok because ultimately you're the person who has to live with your family. But whether we tell our families about what we do or not there's one problem that we all share. In fact it's a problem that we share with webmasters and content providers over in mainstream too.

The problem is that many family members ... beyond your partner and kids ... really have no clue about what it's like to work for yourself. Of course it's something that many of them may have dreamed about and some probably still aspire to being self-employed because they see it as some sort of Nirvana where the money rolls in day after day without the need to actually do any work to earn it.

They think that you can take time off whenever you want to. If you work from home they think that they can drop in any time of the day or night and you'll be there to entertain them. They think that you can drop what you're doing the moment they have a problem and solve it for them.

And often nothing you can do or say seems to change their views.

A good friend of mine runs a similar business to me. She's just as busy as I am and she works long hours the same as we all do. Her family knows how hard she works and most of them know not to just drop in but there are some who just have to idea.

Just last week she was more than a little gob-smacked when her sister called in and told my friend that she was heading overseas for a two week holiday. Sure, that sounded fine but what floored my friend was when her sister asked my friend to look after her four children while she was away.

Two of the children are too young for school and all four are absolute monsters and my friend was supposed to stop work for two weeks to look after them.

Yes, if you haven't experienced it already, you will find that some family members ... whether they know what you do or not ... simply have no clue when it comes to the realities of being self-employed.

So what do you do when you're confronted with a family member who expects you to drop everything and help them out?

Of course there is no single answer that fits every situation. In my friend's case a blunt 'NO' may have caused some offence but it was the only reasonable answer in the situation and my friend wasn't afraid to use it.

In other situations you may be able to offer some limited help and perhaps you should be prepared to offer it. Of course once you've really put yourself out for a family member who doesn't understand the realities of your business life they will expect you to do it again and again but that doesn't mean that you should refuse every request for help.

What you do need to do before agreeing to help in every situation is weigh up the request for help against the amount of time you will lose from your business and the costs that will impose on you and your cash-flow. It's simply wrong to help a family member out if the cost of providing that help is the loss of your business.

I know that some of you may think that sounds rather brutal but it's a fact. Police, Firemen and rescue workers aren't paid to rescue people if they're going to lose their own life in the process. One of the things those guys are taught is never to give up their life for someone else and that's the way it has to be for us and our dealings with our families.

It can be a very hard lesson to learn and apply to your life but if you want your business to succeed there are going to be times when you simply have to say 'NO' to people who expect you to sacrifice your business for them.